My last day at 1 Aldridge Way. This has been my home since I was two. It still hasn’t fully hit me yet
I’ve also decided that I’m going to stop being depressed about things that have happened recently and I’m not going to be afraid of the future for the time being. I want to cut all the distractions out. I’m going to cut down on smoking, I’m going to continue my hard work at the gym, and hopefully when I go back to school I will be in a better mindset. I just need to continue to tell myself “Mind Over Matter” and I can get through any anxiety attack. As for the girl who I still love but have decided to to let be free of me and my bullshit, I really do still love you very very much and I hope the best with everything this summer and I look forward to seeing you at school after I heal a little bit more. I need to stop loving you so much because we can never truly be friends if not. I really hope that you understand this and understand that I don’t want you to feel sad anymore. I will always be here to talk if you need me.
Following some serious soul searching in the past few days, I’ve come to the conclusion that women just aren’t to be trusted at this age. I’m 20. All I want is to fuck them and be done with them because I’ve gone through too much heartbreak (and in turn, drama) from women in my life. I can’t invest any more emotions into people because I just know that all of my expectations of actually living a happy life with someone else are completely unrealistic. No one respects me. So why does anyone deserve my respect? I’m beyond broken but I think the past few days have begun me along the right path. It’s a sad and lonely path, but what else is new?
Jamming out to Glassjaw’s “Worship and Tribute” is bringing back all kinds of memories. Need to spin this one more often